


River

by thebatfax



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-23
Updated: 2012-07-23
Packaged: 2017-11-10 13:26:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/466798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebatfax/pseuds/thebatfax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few weeks have passed since the events on Miranda.  The crew's settling into its routine again, but remains haunted by its loss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	River

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly an exploration on what River might be like post-Miranda, now that she's been cleansed of the Reaver knowledge plaguing her since The Academy. Also I wanted to see how the crew dynamic might have changed, and how Zoe's holding up. I'm not sure if this will actually continue into a series, but here's to hoping! Please give any critique, commentary, what have you--this is actually my first fanfic (ever), so any advice is absolutely appreciated!
> 
> Also, I had trouble with Zoe, so any pointers on that front would be especially helpful.

Swinging off the rails, she valuted onto the stairs and giggled all the way down to the cargo bay. Shrieks emerged from the dining room as another woman, brown hair and black streaks smudging her face, streaked over the rails and tripped her way down the stairs in fast pursuit. 

"You can't catch me, you can't catch me, you can't catch me!"

"The box is mine, you...you, RIVER give it baaack!"

"Nope, I do what I want."

River Tam arched her back to escape Kaylee's outreached hands and ran into the Med Bay where her brother, Simon, was busy patching Jayne up. 

"River, what's going o--" Simon begin asking until he was interrupted by Kaylee cackling as she flew through the room.

"I've got you! I'm the winner, the box o' strawberries is MINE!" she crowed, dragging River out of the Med Bay, pushing her down on the sofa, and jumping on top of her. 

"Succumb to my superior powers, River Tam!" Kaylee said imperiously as she snatched the wood box of strawberries from her hands. They both collapsed, exhausted, and lay there laughing until the laughter soaked into the walls and the entire room suddenly felt lighter, easier. 

There'd been such little laughter since Miranda. 

And just like that, all the events of the past month washed over Kaylee, and she remembered who the laughter disappeared with. She sighed and then, on impulse (or maybe to chase away the memories) tickled River, provoking another furious bout of tangled limbs and laughter to the point of soreness. Finally done, they lay there in silence, the memories of Miranda and Wash and Shepherd Book retreating into the depths of Kaylee's mind. Noises kept the nightmares at bay, she'd learned. Most noises, that is. 

Kaylee turned over --still on top of River-- to see herself staring into Simon's light blue eyes. He looked down at her wearing an amused expression on his face. And then their eyes met and, after a few moments, they both broke eye contact stammering into incongruous small talk. Simon unconsciously redirected the conversation.

"How are you feeling today, Mei-mei?" he asked, eyes momentarily flashing toward Kaylee. River simply looked up at him pointedly with a look of abject disapproval on her face.

"Simon, I know what you're doing. Don't think you can always depend on me to drag you out of socially uncomfortable situations. You've been using me as a crutch, but at some point you're going to have to get over this emotional trauma from your medical school relationships and move on to greener pastures." River paused for a moment, then whispered meaningfully, "Starts with a K and ends with a Lee, if you didn't get the message." 

Simon stammered as Kaylee shifted on the couch to grin thankfully at River. River, nodding back with a determinedly mischievous look in her black eyes, slid out from under her and walked carefully out of the Common Room.

Kaylee glanced up at Simon with a smile pulling pulling at the corners of her mouth. 

"Emotional trauma from your medical school relationships?"

"Yeah..umm, I should really attend to Jayne." Simon stuttered as Jayne groaned from the Bay. He quickly turned to go back, muttering about "damned readers."

"Jayne's absolutely fine, Simon. Why don't you attend to me instead?" Kaylee asked, hooking Simon neatly around the arm, and leading him back to the engine room. 

"Hey! I'm not fine! Hey, Doc! Come back here! Gorrammit, pull this damned needle out of me at least." Jayne complained. But the Doc was nowhere in sight. 

Up on the bridge, River smiled that particularly River-esque smile. Describing it was challenging, but the closest one got was through contemplating the notion of serenity, peace and tranquility, yet with a hint of foreknowledge, thoughts that shouldn't be thought in that young mind, images that shouldn't be seen in those dark eyes. Yes, definitely serenity—but also darkness. 

"River, is that you? Where's Mal?" a voice questioned, emerging from the Companion's shuttle. 

Inara poked her head out and, not seeing Mal anywhere, emerged fully.

"Hiding from the Cap'n?" River asked slyly. 

"I --of course not, I just wanted to see who was out here." Inara smoothly replied. 

River grinned widely at Inara, evoking a slight blush. Seems that the only topic capable of throwing the Companion off was that of Captain Malcolm Reynolds. 

"The Captain's probably on the Bridge --no doubt looking for me." River said, moving that direction as she headed back to her post as co-pilot of the Serenity. Inara nodded and followed her, and River suddenly realized that Inara wasn't avoiding Mal--she was trying to find an excuse to go see him. 

"Stop reading my mind, River. I can tell by that silly smile that you know more about the ongoings in my head than I do." Inara reprimanded in a sisterly fashion. River just smiled wider. 

"River, what in the sphincter hell are you playing at? You got a job here, and you're instead running around my ship like a dog chasing it's own tail. I need you to sit at console for a bit while I go take care of some personal things --mainly I really need to use the bathroom and there're too many other vessels around for me to leave this place unhanded." Mal said, his voice echoing down from the bridge as he heard the two of them approaching. River cocked her head in response as she sensed something amiss in one of the bedrooms. 

"No can do. Something tells me I'm needed elsewhere at the moment." River replied, eyes narrowed in concentration. 

"You know, little albatross, I think I liked you better when we couldn't understand what you were jabbering on about. I wasn't asking you to sit at console --I was telling."

River carefully walked up to Serenity's control panel, bending down until her mouth was inches from Mal's ear. 

"Cap'n, there's a certain person on this boat who you've distinctly never seen so much as cry before. Well, she's sitting in her bunk bawling her eyes out where no one can see her, and she needs somebody --not you-- down there with her. I think it's a much better use of my time and abilities to be with her than to cover for your weak bladder, wouldn't you say?"

"Point taken." Mal said succinctly. Then, lowering his voice, he whispered "Also, my bladder ain't weak! Just sensitive to change. Drank too much water this morning. Dangerous stuff, water is." 

River turned around and walked past Inara, who'd just come on the bridge, giving her a slight wink. At that precise moment, both Mal and Inara realized they were now absolutely alone in each other's company. 

"Care to join me for a walk, Captain?" 

"My pleasure, Ambassador." Mal replied, causing Inara to roll her eyes.

"Thought you couldn't leave console?" Inara asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Well, my legs could do with some stretching, and I really do need to use the bathroom. Our course should steer us clear from any other ships for the time being." 

"Right." Inara said, smirking. "Well, let's walk then." Mal nodded blankly, looking away from her.

River padded down the catwalk, stopping in front of Wash and Zoe's room. Well, she thought, I suppose it's only Zoe's room now. She reached down and pushed the door in.

"Zoe? I'm coming down right now. Is that alright?"

"No umm. I'm busy right now, sorry." Zoe's muffled voice emerged from the room.

"Zoe, I can read your mind. I'm coming down now."

"Oh. Right," Zoe conceded.

River walked as if she was fluid. She had this grace, regardless of whether she ran, fell, or slid down a room ladder. She swung down into Zoe's quarters and stopped. Zoe was a mess. It's strange, River thought, she's completely different now than she was before. Zoe embodied strength, stability. She was Mal's right hand, and he'd probably have gone mad years ago if it weren't for Zoe. In some ways they were different sides of the same coin, Mal and Zoe. And that was the exact reason, River concluded, that Mal shouldn't come here right now. Zoe needed an ear, not a mirror. No, Zoe wasn't different. She was just hurt. 

"River, why are you here?" Zoe asked in a strangled voice.

"Because you need me to be."

"River. I don't know. I've never been like this before. I don't want anybody seeing me."

"I can read your mind. I don't need to see you to know." 

Zoe just sighed. When it came down to it, River's logic was impeccable. If there was anyone who could understand Zoe's pain, it was River. Not just because of her psychic abilities, but because River had probably tasted the most pain out of anyone on this ship. She had lived with the pain at that Academy --knowledge that she'd lost everyone she'd ever love. She thought she'd never see Simon again, her parents again. And then when she did come out, she was damaged, emotionally unstable. She felt things she should've never felt, knew things she shouldn't have known. There was a hurricane in her mind, and she somehow quietened it. That's what Zoe needed now. Some quiet, some peace.

"I've seen so many people die, River. In the war, it became a natural occurence. People lived, people died, people became wounded. And at some point, you become desensitized to it, it stops being such a crazy thing. Hell, even the Cap'n almost died during the war --I suppose I didnt know him so well at the time, but I knew him well enough to be perturbed. I wasn't. You came to terms with death, it stopped being the big bad thing most people think of. I mean, in some ways it was a relief. As addicting as the struggle of life seems, sometimes, it's hard. And death was a certain end."

River nodded, she understood this well. In the Academy, they'd forced her to watch gruesome videos, people dying, being torn apart, everything that you can think of. And she slowly lost value in a life. She forgot what it meant for a time. It was only because of Simon that she rediscovered --herself. 

"But now, I just lost one person. Hoban Washburne, damn his name. And it seems to me, now that I think about it, that Wash wasn't really a person to me. It's like damn well losing a part of myself, River. How do you handle that? How do I sew this mess up and--" 

The strongest person River knew folded into a wet rag of tears, sobs wracking her body through a torment of the soul, felt in the flesh --all encompassing, it ruled her viciously.

"Zoe, you sew it up, just like you would a wound. Imagine yourself happy, because there's a life worth living, a being worth experiencing. A sky worth watching."

Zoe inhaled sharply, catching her breath and stopping the gasping sobs that had kept interrupting her. She wiped her tears and looked up at River, jaw clenched and the ghost of a smile shimmering on her face. 

"Can't take the sky from me."

River rose and walked to the bunk ladder. She paused at the foot for a moment as if lost in thought, finally turning toward Zoe.

"Oh, and Zoe," said River, smiling as Zoe looked up, "congratulations...it's a girl."


End file.
